you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
