babies were throwing up all over the place
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
