I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
