drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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