I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
