Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
operation harelip BJ is a go
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
