i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
