the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
