Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again