Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."

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(573): View more from Missouri

Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?

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(516): View more from New York

i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(334): View more from Alabama

Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over

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(503): View more from Oregon

I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.

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(313): View more from Michigan

How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.

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(509): View more from Washington

Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college

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