hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing