I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
