And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college