On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
That's an oxymoron.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.