I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
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I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
She's just so happy...and so naked.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...