Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
