just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
