I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
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Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
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You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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