i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
