Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
