i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
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