their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
