OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
