just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
