Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
