Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
