Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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