Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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