He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
