You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
