happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
