carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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