I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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