Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
