I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize