Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
