just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
