The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize