Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
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