Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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