yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
