I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Randomize
