Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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