Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
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