he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
