Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize