You work out of a Hotel?
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
