It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
