Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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