ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Can I color on your dick again?
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
