remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
