Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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