Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
