wat bout pragnant strippers??
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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