no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
Randomize
