while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
