you guys were way drunker than both of me
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
