sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
