my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
