No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
