so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
