I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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