; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
