sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
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Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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