so explain again why im purple
no
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize