i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
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