youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
