Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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