Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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