He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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