FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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