Is it normal to miss your booty call?
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Randomize
