The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Randomize
