It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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