it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
