I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
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I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
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Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
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