So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
