I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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