I love having hate sex.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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