Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
