does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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